Idiot Savant Online

John Lichman's third attempt at a personal blog and online savanting idiotic.

It Came From My Archives…The Saddest Paragraph We’ve Read Today: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

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I’ve recently decided to get all my old clips together as I suffered the loss of all my old posts on the original Spout Blog. These are reposts of the original posts on my personal blog so there’ll be a properly formatted version.

The saddest paragraph we’ve read comes from MTV Movies Blog today about the sequel to Alvin and the Chimpmunks. Take it away, MTVMB!

Ever since we broke the news (1) that the sequel to the smash flick “Alvin and the Chipmunks” would be introducing the Chipettes, we’ve been working to uncover (2) the top-secret identities of the girlfriend trio that will make sweet music alongside Alvin, Simon and Theodore. Recently, Justin Long revealed (3) to us that two of the gals will be voiced by Anna Faris and Christina Applegate. Now, we finally know the identity of that mysterious third Chipette.

Why is the above so sad? Let us break it down for you.

  1. MTV considers a casting notice news.
  2. That someone was paid to be handed a PR notice at a red carpet event.
  3. Apparently, the difficulty of finding Justin Long to help you out with something is akin to flipping a light switch.

Even worse, not even Jason Lee is coming back for the Squeakquel. He had the grace to run away as fast as he could and rest comfortably in his My Name Is Earl DVD royalties. Still, we bet the horrible offense to our eyes that is this film won’t indulge us in a creepy anthropomorphic snake/chipmunk pedophilia like the original did.

But who is the brand new third female CGI chimpmunk? Who cares.

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Written by john lichman

October 7, 2010 at 9:46 pm

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